T’was the School Night Before Christmas

T’was the night before Christmas, and in the classrooms

Not a creature was stirring, all was in gloom.

The children were home, all filled with excitement,

Dreaming of Fingerlings and unicorns, bright and vibrant.

Back in the school hall there arose such a clatter,

The teachers are partying and having a natter.

They spill out of the staff room and into the hall,

With music and wine, they’re having a ball!

The receptionist sings along to Last Christmas,

The P.E. teacher drones on about physical fitness.

The head teacher is on her fourth glass of mulled wine,

Forgets about Ofsted and begins to feel fine.

Miss Smith’s on the table, dancing away,

She’ll have a headache upon Christmas Day.

More rapid she twirls, her balance getting worser,

Until she falls into the arms of the bursar.

They dance and they sing, lesson plans forgotten,

And hope, as they drink, their hangovers won’t be rotten.

Up over the school, teachers’ cares fly away,

Joining the reindeers, who are pulling the sleigh.

Out of the school building they stumble and laugh,

Clutching presents from parents, on their child’s behalf.

Slowly they leave, the now quiet school behind,

And traipse to the takeaway, kebabs on their mind.

Now along comes St Nick, creeping into the school,

Leaving presents for Teachers, to make them merry this Yule.

He does all their marking, their reports and their plans,

So they can relax with their family clans.

Back in his sleigh, he shouts as he flies out of sight:

“Happy Christmas to all Teachers, and to all Teachers good-night!”